So i am unfortunately the eldest of 5, and adding to that i am a chick. Alone you might look at this statement and thing yea so what. Well, in legal studies were taught that in society the worst situation you could be in is be of indigenous heritage, or colored, uneducated and female. Why, because that situation plays against you in society, you have no cards to deal or play with in life and society is generally does not treat these type of people fairly sadly. I know, where am i going with this? Well this is similar to your family position. If you are a female, with strict religious family heritage & traditional conservative views, and the eldest its the worst possible family placing ever. This post is dedicated to me venting and ranting on about how being the eldest is the worst position to be in compared to being the middle or youngest child & how it sucks. -___-
- Too much responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, i’m all for shouldering responsibility and taking on the challenge, being held liable for different things etc. But as the eldest everything to do with the family is somehow also your responsibility, your somehow partly responsible for whatever happens let it be good or bad stuff. This responsibility carries through too the other siblings, it is your job to set the example for your younger siblings. It is your responsibility to ensure they do not get into trouble etc. Your also responsible for the most retarded things, if the rice gets burnt while cooking at home, its your fault even though you aint home, you shoulda called home to remind someone to check the rice even though you didn’t know rice was cooking. -__-
- You are the figurehead for the family. Being the eldest child you are the representative for the family which means everything you say, do , think, dream about reflects on the family. Bless your soul if it reflects badly on your family because that means you are tarnishing the family name. Being the figurehead also means that you are the one to go to ALL family events either alone or with the parents, EVEN if you don’t even know the family or if you don’t want too, you have to go as a representative of the family. Generally the eldest reflects and represents the family name, people usually identify families based on either the parents, the last name or the eldest child.
- You Experience everything first. Now it may seem all fun and daring and exciting getting to try new things first, but stuff that not many people want to do unknown or new things first. Doing things first or experiencing things first is hard and sometimes annoying. If your the middle child or younger child you have older siblings as reference, advice or assistance. As the eldest you have no background knowledge, examples or anything for basis, you go into many situations blind which isn’t always fun. This is a prime example of how parents use the eldest child as a dummy, or trial and error. No one wants to get left behind at school because someone forgot to pick them up from school, then get lost tryna navigate home when your only 6. LMAO if you were a younger sibling you would have someone to get lost with !
- Your the dummy, the experiment, the trial. The eldest is pretty much the child who the parents parent to the best of their ability as amateur parents, once they go through the trial and tribulations associated with the eldest, they adjust their parenting approach and improve their parenting skills (sometimes not always) on the following children. In most cases this usually involves slacking off discipline, and being more adventurous and open minded to younger children’s outlandish behavior. Most eldest children (a generalization that should not be taken seriously) experience either the extreme of strictness, or the opposite extreme of laid back parenting. Either way the younger siblings or middle and younger child’s benefit ALWAYS. If the eldest is from strict parenting, parents will slack off the strictness for the younger siblings because there is the comfort of the older child being there as support or the idea that the eldest did it and were fine i’m sure that they will too at a younger age, if they are laid back, for younger siblings, level of laid back will enter a whole new level. Either way in comparison it still sucks to be the eldest. Im 110% sure i got more spankings than any of my other brothers and sisters and they are worse than i am smh.
- There are many expectations. Now i know that there are expectations for everyone, but for the eldest the expectations are very high. Associated with the figurehead point, you are the eldest, you are required to set an example, be successful, do the family proud, represent the family name with honor. Now these expectations are allot of pressure, and is tiring, there is only so much you can take when it comes to being concerned about peoples views of the family and their success. Now many may argue that if the eldest sets a high standard whether it be education wise, sporting skills wise etc then there is even more pressure set on the younger siblings thus they could raise the argument that they are always in the shadow of the older child. And i agree it is a legitimate argument, only one of the few i will accept. Though the spectrum of expectations is vast, the eldest is also expected to act in a certain manner, and the to mature faster than the others. The eldest is also expected to step up to the plate in urgent or emergency situations, the other siblings usually take comfort in the fact that they are rarely expected to anything because they know that the eldest is meant to shoulder all the responsibilities.
- Being a girl & the eldest is even worse because you are the first born of amateur parents. We are talking about parents whom have zero experience with parenting and bringing up another human in the world, their level of protectiveness & security will be at its all time high because of their aim to do well and be great parents. Unfortunately this largely involves, tall walls, around the eldest child’s bedroom LOL. Now this point isn’t really applicable to everyone, more like to eldest females from strict religious families LOL. For guys i feel the eldest would be hecktik. Free as a bird to do whatever when ever and at your own pace with no real boundaries or limitations apart from the inescapable expectations that parents have of you. I would love to be the middle child or youngest child because having older siblings would be heaps madd. I know in my situation my siblings are lucky to have me, and i am seriously not talking myself up here. But i LITERALLY make their life heaps madd, i can sway my mum to cut them slack, they are allowed more places because of me, and i even take them places. I had none of this growing up smh.
- Mind you not all eldest children are angels or even responsible, some are rebellious, out there, runaways or extreme law breakers, as with everything not everything is applicable across the board, there are always exceptions. There are some scenarios where the eldest child has cause the family strife by being a rebellious unsettled child always fighting and getting into trouble. So pretty much my points against being the eldest only apply to the mildly insane eldest children that decide to stick around O.o LOL
Obviously this is my blog about my thoughts and opinions etc and i LITERALLY HATE being the eldest, no advantages to being the eldest AT ALL and all these points are just general ideas that are not applicable to everyone, however if you do empathize with me and understand *hi-5*. If you do have any please leave a comment and tell me because i am struggling to find 1 positive thing about being the eldest. Also if you do not agree with the eldest being the worst position, then argue what you think is a more worse family position. Im sure it will be entertaining.